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Talen
Capellan Confederation
Sang-shao
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1269
Location: United States
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 Posted: 22-Feb-2002 23:24 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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WHY ENGLISH IS DIFFICULT TO LEARN....
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
 A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the row of oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to tests on the subject.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Lets face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in
pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet at all, are
meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
Sometimes, I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane.
What other reason could there be for saying that people recite at a play and
play at a recital?
Or, ship cargo by truck and send cargo by ship?
Or, have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a
fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few
are alike?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? You
have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can
burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and
in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race which, of course, isn't a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay,
I end it.
_________________
"Historians exercise great power and some of them know it. They recreate the past, changing it to fit their own interpretations. Thus, they change the future as well." - Leto II
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 23-Feb-2002 07:52 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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Just think of it like this, if it's against the rules, we'll find a way to make it work in our langauge.
Sir Henry
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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Gangrene
Federated Suns
Leftenant General
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 939
Location: United States
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| Posted: 23-Feb-2002 15:21 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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Ow, my head hurts . . .
OK, so maybe the english languge could use a bit of cleaning up. Unfortunately I don't see that happening any time soon.
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Gangrene
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ICER
Clan Hell's Horses
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1663
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Feb-2002 15:39 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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Of course not. It took us genrations to screw it up.
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AWAD
Draconis Combine
Chu-sa
Joined: 06-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 766
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| Posted: 24-Feb-2002 18:15 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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English has no rules. As someone that speaks another langauge, is married to a foreigner, English is real damn easy to learn. Mastering it is a bitch. But like we care, we even tried to make Ebonics a language.
AWAD- Our language mimics our culture, what rules?
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Horhiro
Draconis Combine
Samurai
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1625
Location: United States
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| Posted: 06-Mar-2002 08:29 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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This is way too funny. I can't wait to send it to my friend Iris a retired english teacher. And too my wife, who also has an english degree 
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"I have lived my life trying to be a virtuous man. The Dragon admires tenacity, and the code of the samurai upholds it as well." -Minobu Tetsuhara
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 06-Mar-2002 12:05 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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Next it will be Southern, that is turned into the 'New' Langauge....Yuck...
Sir HEnry
_________________
Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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ICER
Clan Hell's Horses
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1663
Location: United States
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| Posted: 06-Mar-2002 12:24 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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What is this "NEXT". You better speak southren if you ever vist the south. Otherwise your vist could turn out to be very interesting.
YALL 
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 06-Mar-2002 13:37 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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I Live in the south. Y'all don't think I know that already...
Sir Henry....
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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ICER
Clan Hell's Horses
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1663
Location: United States
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| Posted: 06-Mar-2002 14:00 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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I wasn't atalkin to youen. I was atalken to them darn yanks.
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Talen
Capellan Confederation
Sang-shao
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1269
Location: United States
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| Posted: 06-Mar-2002 14:10 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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Dude, you think you are so cool with that unhip Southern talk? Sha...whatever.
-Talen Tseng-The Californian
_________________
"Historians exercise great power and some of them know it. They recreate the past, changing it to fit their own interpretations. Thus, they change the future as well." - Leto II
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ICER
Clan Hell's Horses
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1663
Location: United States
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| Posted: 06-Mar-2002 14:51 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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Well, At least we do not end ever sentance with dude. DUDE!!!
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Talen
Capellan Confederation
Sang-shao
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1269
Location: United States
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| Posted: 06-Mar-2002 15:15 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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Dude....
_________________
"Historians exercise great power and some of them know it. They recreate the past, changing it to fit their own interpretations. Thus, they change the future as well." - Leto II
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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| Posted: 06-Mar-2002 15:21 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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Dude?
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www.210sportsblog.com
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Vagabond
Mercenary
Mr. Referee
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 5800
Location: United States
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| Posted: 06-Mar-2002 15:41 Post subject: Why English is so hard to learn... |
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dude....
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one must work hard to cultivate the mind and body. and one must always cultivate the mind.
//^(^_^)^\\
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