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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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 Posted: 30-Jun-2002 09:54 Post subject: Important Windows XP Announcement from MicroSoft! |
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It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS XP WEST VIRGINIA EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the state of WEST VIRGINIA. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.
The WEST VIRGINIA EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS Ex-Pee, with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct tape" pops up
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN WEST VIRGINIA EDITION
Cancel . . . . . . . . stopdat
Reset . . . . . . . . try'er agin
Yes . . . . . . . . . yep
No . . . . . . . . . . nope
Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it
Go to. . . . . . . . . over yonder
Back . . . . . . . . . back yonder
Help . . . . . . . . . hep me out here
Stop . . . . . . . . . kwitit
Start . . . . . . . . crank'er up
Settings . . . . . . . settins
Programs . . . . . . . stuff dat duz stuff
Documents . . . . . . stuff ah done did
Also note that the WEST VIRGINIA EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to Winders Ex-Pee:
Tiperiter . . . . . . . a word processing program
Colerin' Book . . . . . a graphics program
Cyferin' mersheen . . . calculator
Outhouse paper. . . . . notepad
Inner-net . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 5.0
Pitchers . . . . . . . a graphics viewer
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the WEST VIRGINIA EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
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Ares
Clan Jade Falcon
Star Colonel
Joined: 20-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 737
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| Posted: 30-Jun-2002 13:11 Post subject: Important Windows XP Announcement from MicroSoft! |
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lol...thats just god-awesome
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Black_Phoenix
Clan Nova Cat
Star Colonel
Joined: 23-Jun-2002 00:00
Posts: 382
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| Posted: 30-Jun-2002 17:10 Post subject: Important Windows XP Announcement from MicroSoft! |
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Did anyone ever see that program made back '98 or '99 that made a joke out of MS Windows? It ran just like a Windows desktop screen, slighty altered as a joke, and even had a Bill Gates pet, which you had to feed money.
I wish that I had been able to see what all they had altered in that program to make fun of Windows. 
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History is much like an endless waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.
-Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz
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Gunslinger Patch
Royal Black Watch Regiment
Major
Joined: 04-Mar-2002 00:00
Posts: 1611
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| Posted: 30-Jun-2002 18:34 Post subject: Important Windows XP Announcement from MicroSoft! |
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Pretty funny. But Robert E. Lee and the Confederate flag don't go with West Virginia. They're the part of Virginia that stuck with the Yankees when the mild disagreement began and got turned into a new state as a result.
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"Those who beat their guns into plows will plow for those with guns..." -Thomas Jefferson
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Tiger
Draconis Combine
Shujin
Joined: 01-May-2002 00:00
Posts: 139
Location: United States
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| Posted: 30-Jun-2002 19:00 Post subject: Important Windows XP Announcement from MicroSoft! |
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lol, go chihawk
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Confucius says, "Man who smokes pot, chokes on handle."
"That's right, we're ummpa lumpa dumpa dee screwed." - Al Gore
MX_Tiger
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Gangrene
Federated Suns
Leftenant General
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 939
Location: United States
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| Posted: 30-Jun-2002 19:18 Post subject: Important Windows XP Announcement from MicroSoft! |
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I think this joke has been around since Win 95, in one form or another. I've seen the Texas version twice now, but this is the first time I've seen a West Virginia version.
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Gangrene
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Ares
Clan Jade Falcon
Star Colonel
Joined: 20-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 737
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| Posted: 30-Jun-2002 20:26 Post subject: Important Windows XP Announcement from MicroSoft! |
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Texas version? What, does it turn the mouse-pointer into a Glock or somesuch?
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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| Posted: 30-Jun-2002 20:29 Post subject: Important Windows XP Announcement from MicroSoft! |
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It was sent to me by my boss and I thought of Cadet right away.
Being a student of the Civil War I know the REL reference is incorrect, but the joke is funny nonetheless....
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Cadet
ComStar
Lieutenant, SG
Joined: 17-Mar-2002 00:00
Posts: 495
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| Posted: 30-Jun-2002 21:57 Post subject: Important Windows XP Announcement from MicroSoft! |
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I hate you all.
I have shoes and indoor plumbing. I've been to the dentist multiple times.
Of course I do kill things with guns, have a moonshine still, and have slept with my sister dozens of times...
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I'm not family friendly. That's why I don't post here.
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Ares
Clan Jade Falcon
Star Colonel
Joined: 20-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 737
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| Posted: 30-Jun-2002 22:26 Post subject: Important Windows XP Announcement from MicroSoft! |
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The first two are ok, but the third....is she hot? nah, that's unforgivable even if she's Denise Richards.
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