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Kraken
Federated Suns
Marshal
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 2755
Location: United States
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 Posted: 30-Dec-2004 23:07 Post subject: Testing a story idea |
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This one is set in modern times.
For centuries, it is as if there have always been space nations in open conflict with one another. At first, the ultimate tool of war was what had been called the Firesuit - giant human-piloted machines. In an effort to counter these machines, a new type of soldier was soon created. This soldier was infused with nanites, turning them from a human into a biological android; the process was so finite that many were given them without ever knowing it. Earth, like many other planets, was initially deemed too much of a backwater; by treaty, those planets were left out of the fighting.
A number of failsafes were implanted into these nanites, the main one being the drive for self-destruction. In addition, the nanites often needed some external activation, and the core nanite could be transferred (or as needs be, taken by force) from one person to another.
Eventually, this gave rise to a warrior so powerful that all nations feared him. After decades of wreaking havoc on all comers, he and his Firesuit suddenly dissappear.
Flash forward about 15 years to Earth, and to the star character. When he was a youth, he had a near-death experience that has left him with an odd outlook on life and a Jekyll and Hyde nature. He decided to become a writer, meaning that although he's in his mid-twenties and is at work on his master's, he's already commanding about $100,000+ a year. Thing is, he has some secrets that he's trying to hide.
The warrior in question fell in love with a woman 20 years his junior, leading to a one-night-stand. His heart changed so immensely that he tried to set about righting his wrongs - but it was too late. Knowing full well what it would entail, he decided to travel to Earth, in the hopes of finding someone who could do what he could not. He imbued all of his power (as well as his entire Firesuit) into his core nanite, and secretly bestowed it upon a boy who otherwise would not have lived - our hero. In the process of saving the boy's life, the warrior lost his own. What neither one counted on was the nanites partially activating in the process.
In the search for the warrior, some pirates make their way to Earth, trailed by a young female cop. She finds herself way outclassed, and our hero is forced to reveal himself for what he is. This leads to a massive battle out in space in which our hero uses his Firesuit to wipe out several fleets intent on taking over Earth. While this forcibly leads to negotiations between the US (acting on behalf of Earth) and the other nations, our poor little cop has been relieved of her duties. In sympathy, our hero takes her in and lets her stay in his guest room.
All she knows about her father is that he was an older soldier who her mom bedded down with; although our hero knows who her father is, she doesn't.
The warrior has left a sub-routine asking our hero to guard her. No one ever thought of them falling in love.
Thoughts?
_________________
"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat." -Edgar Allen Poe"I knew there was something special about you, but I never realized you were really a cat." Wolfwood to a random cat (Trigun)
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SaberDance
Federated Suns
Colonel
Joined: 07-May-2004 00:00
Posts: 837
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| Posted: 30-Dec-2004 23:35 Post subject: RE: Testing a story idea |
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As with many things, it could be good, it could be bad.
The idea is novel, though I see definite pulls from contemporary Sci-Fi (Stargate, being the most obvious, but also Gundam-Wing, Battletech, and the old Exo-Squad. Bit of a Blade Runner motif.) Go with it and see what happens.
The "my-heart-goes-on" theme is hard to pull off. It is very easy to slip into melodrama, it is equally easy to sound cliched and insincere. Actual love-conquors-________ stories are very rare. That said, they are some of the best stories ever written (Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and the Beast are classics for a reason).
My recomendation (having written a novel that I am currently trying to sell), write the story now before you know how hard it is to write a novel. Just write it for the sake of writing it. Enjoy writing it, show it to friends. If you decide to sell it, the money and the publication will be secondary, rather than some kind of vindication of your skills. I will not give you any writing advice until after you've written it for two reasons:
1.) This should be your story, your style, and your voice. Not your translation of me.
2.) This is your universe, not mine. I couldn't possibly tell you something about it you don't already know, so how could I tell you how the story will work?
Good luck.
_________________
"Politics is the Art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, misdiagnosing the problem, and applying the wrong solution."
-Groucho Marx
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Kraken
Federated Suns
Marshal
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 2755
Location: United States
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| Posted: 04-Jan-2005 08:44 Post subject: RE: Testing a story idea |
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How it would work is that from time to time, the guy would have introspective arguments with..... himself, basically (the donor of the tech acting as a second persona). Each set of nanites has an encoding peculiar to their original user; in the rare event of a transfer, they simply create a new encoding for the new user, and display both sets at once. As such, everyone knows about it.
One sequence that I had the idea for is this:
The guy polishes off some homework, only to realize that it's after midnight. He goes to check on the cop, and finds her asleep on the couch - she passed out watching the classic movie channel. As he considers whether or not to wake her, the warrior notes that even though she's all grown up she's still got a bit of kid left in her.
_________________
"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat." -Edgar Allen Poe"I knew there was something special about you, but I never realized you were really a cat." Wolfwood to a random cat (Trigun)
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Rarich
Federated Suns
Leftenant General
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 991
Location: United States
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| Posted: 05-Jan-2005 04:44 Post subject: RE: Testing a story idea |
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Too Gundam for my taste. Take a Look at The old CyberPunk or CyberGen RPGs, heck MasterChief from Halo, or the Samothracian from the Drakon! Sci-Fi book. WarHammer 40K has the Geneseed for its SpaceMarines look at them to get an idea of scale perhaps. If you prefer the Anime/ Space Opera route go right a head too, just think about developing the story more slowly, over years.
Much more believable than "The Farmboy with Natural Ability" gambit with "uber tech" to give him punch. That has been around since at least King Arthur's time.
[ This Message was edited by: Rarich on 2005-01-05 04:49 ]
_________________
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and strings also lie under it all.
Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
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