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Hardware
Clan Ghost Bear
Star Colonel
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 605
Location: United States
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 Posted: 04-May-2003 22:12 Post subject: Conspiracy theory number 131. |
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The Old Man of the Mountain, fell, or was pushed?
As many of you no doubt know, the Old Man of the Mountain, a major attraction in New Hampshire was reported to have fallen over the weekend. However, is the media being duped by a coverup? Let's take a look at the key players in this little drama.
The Old Man of the Mountain. A Native American of some great years the Old Man as he liked to be called spent his recent years in semi-retirement at Franconia Notch, New Hampshire. While there was grousing from certain disaffected parties that his retirement was being funded in part by state and federal funds there were no overt threats against his life.
The Rushmore Gang. Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt. An impressively powerful collaboration of individuals who would be a serious threat working separately. Together you ignore them at your peril.
Washington. Military General who led a successful rebellion against the most powerful military on the face of the globe. After his victory he was unsurprisingly installed as president. During a revolt in his fledgling administration he assumed direct military command of the army (the only president to ever do so) and viciously crushed the rebellion, making an example of the ringleaders. When he left office he left certain "assurances" that the customs he followed while in office would be followed. Rumors abound as to who exactly in the city named after him is loyal to him.
Jefferson. The back-room power broker who made Washington's rebellion succeed. He unsurprisingly succeeded Washington as president. While not the direct force that Washington represents, Jefferson managed to manuever effectively in the political arena. His close ties to France allowed to purchase Louisiana for a song.
Lincoln. Political hack who viciously crushed an uprising of revolutionaries. He spent lives like water to retain his hold on political power in this country. After the revolution was put down only his assasination prevented a bloodbath in the reconquered states.
Roosevelt. Military adventurer, political appointee, captain of industry, managed to leverage it all to gain the highest office in the country. Once his military days were done he turned to big game hunting to sate his thirst for blood. Practiced environmental genocide wholesale in Panama all in the name of commerce and military power when constructing the Panama Canal. Author of the "Big Stick" policy that led to the inevitable construction of the atomic bomb.
The Statue of Liberty. Immigrant from France, with an unknown background. Seen in company of the Old Man of the Mountain, but insists that they were "just friends."
The Lincoln Memorial. Also linked with the Statue of Liberty. Perhaps Jealousy might be his motive?
The Sphinx. Known ties to the Egyptian Government and Middle Eastern Terrorist organizations. No known grudge with the Old Man, but perhaps coming so soon after the fall of Iraq, could this be related?
The Easter Island Posse. Over 800 strong, they possess the manpower to get a complicated job done. No travel arrangments can be linked to any of their known accounts, but state and federal authorities are investigating.
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The more I get to know people the more I like my dog.
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Kraken
Federated Suns
Marshal
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 2755
Location: United States
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| Posted: 05-May-2003 10:00 Post subject: RE: Conspiracy theory number 131. |
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And they say that I've had too much sugar.
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"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat." -Edgar Allen Poe"I knew there was something special about you, but I never realized you were really a cat." Wolfwood to a random cat (Trigun)
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Ronin
ComStar
Colonel
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 908
Location: United States
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| Posted: 05-May-2003 22:55 Post subject: RE: Conspiracy theory number 131. |
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| I don't think that this had anything to do with sugar. A white, powdery substance maybe, but not sugar.
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