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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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 Posted: 24-Feb-2003 08:35 Post subject: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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I never have quite figured out why the
sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing.
And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT?" She proceeds to say the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman.
I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?"
I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed.
The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department store. I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK.
And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, once we got to the cashier, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank.
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during Spring 2006.
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Stinger
The Knights of Chaos
General
Joined: 30-Apr-2002 00:00
Posts: 1833
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Feb-2003 13:02 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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LOL! Oh WOW you sir are a much braver man than I! I think that would get me beaten (and not in the happy spanky way either) to within a inch of my life.
Stinger
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Stinger
If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then FINE, I'm "creepy". Howard Wolowitz. BBT.
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Mordel
Mordel.Net
Administrator
Joined: 03-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 6088
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Feb-2003 13:54 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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It wasn't a true story, I'm sure. And if it was, it definitely wasn't chihawk's story. 
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Mordel Blacknight - Site Administrator
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Alexander
Heavy Horse Merc Brigade
Commanding Officer
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 828
Location: Canada
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| Posted: 24-Feb-2003 15:25 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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It's sooo true though!
Alexander (Wome, can't live with them, killing them is easier in the long run than divorce!)
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Commanding Officer, North West Armoured Cavalry
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Feb-2003 15:38 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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Quote:
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On 2003-02-24 15:25, Alexander wrote:
It's sooo true though!
Alexander (Wome, can't live with them, killing them is easier in the long run than divorce!)
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Not Necessarily true. You can't bitch about/to her(mostly about...). You can't give her the kids when you take a long needed vacation.....
But, you don't pay child Support/Alimony ( Just funeral expenses).
I could go on, but I don't have the time, gotta get ready to pick up the kids....
I'm an expert in this field....
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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Ares
Clan Jade Falcon
Star Colonel
Joined: 20-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 737
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| Posted: 24-Feb-2003 17:08 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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Can't be Chihawk's, I think he's got the sense to know a tennis bracelet has nothing to do with the sport of tennis.
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Feb-2003 17:15 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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Quote:
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On 2003-02-24 17:08, Ares wrote:
Can't be Chihawk's, I think he's got the sense to know a tennis bracelet has nothing to do with the sport of tennis.
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Thanks.
I think. 
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Gangrene
Federated Suns
Leftenant General
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 939
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Feb-2003 18:07 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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LOL. "Financial needs as a man" - good one!
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Gangrene
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Raven!
Clan Snow Raven
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1326
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Feb-2003 22:15 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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I was going to ask if Chihawk even knew what Tennis was...
Raven, heading out to the hills to hide from revenge!
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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| Posted: 25-Feb-2003 06:01 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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I used to play tennins, and I used to be good at it.
That was 10 years and 100 pounds ago of course.
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
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Location: United States
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| Posted: 25-Feb-2003 07:31 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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You were what 13....
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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Raven!
Clan Snow Raven
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1326
Location: United States
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| Posted: 25-Feb-2003 10:30 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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You were sophisticated enough to play tennis?!
NEVER!
Raven!
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8081
Location: United States
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| Posted: 25-Feb-2003 16:28 Post subject: RE: "Not tonight honey" PG-13 |
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17 actually, but close enough
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Ruger
Lyran Alliance
Hauptmann General
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 2110
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| Posted: 25-Feb-2003 18:01 Post subject: RE: |
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Hmm...10 years ago at age 17...yeah...that's about the last time I played tennis too...
But only about maybe 20 pounds ago...if that... 
Ruger
[ This Message was edited by: Ruger on 2003-02-25 18:02 ]
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 26-Feb-2003 07:41 Post subject: RE: |
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Tennis.... I was 11, between 7th and 8th grade. Broke two rackets in a month. Never played since....
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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