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Vagabond
Mercenary
Mr. Referee
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 5624
Location: United States
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 Posted: 24-Jul-2006 05:56 Post subject: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a
new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced
the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named *Governmentium*. Governmentium (Gv) has
one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take over four days to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's
Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause
more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium --
an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has
half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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one must work hard to cultivate the mind and body. and one must always cultivate the mind.
//^(^_^)^\\
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GodofWar
Federated Suns
Private
Joined: 29-Apr-2006 00:00
Posts: 21
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Jul-2006 18:26 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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The scary part is it's all true 
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"Do or do not, there is no try"
Yoda, Jedi Master
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House Calderon 1
Federated Suns
Command Sergeant-Major
Joined: 03-Feb-2006 00:00
Posts: 156
Location: United States
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| Posted: 24-Jul-2006 20:15 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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Oh that is just too funny!
     
ROFLMAO!!!
Well done Vagabond!
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 RAVENS
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Gunslinger Patch
Royal Black Watch Regiment
Major
Joined: 04-Mar-2002 00:00
Posts: 1611
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| Posted: 25-Jul-2006 02:14 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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good one!
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"Those who beat their guns into plows will plow for those with guns..." -Thomas Jefferson
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Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
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| Posted: 28-Jul-2006 16:05 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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Well it's not only funny, but also true (not only in the states )
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The dragon NEVER sleeps!
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 28-Jul-2006 20:27 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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It sounds like the Sheriff's dept here....
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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Rudel Gurken
Allisters Light Thunder
Major
Joined: 15-Jun-2005 00:00
Posts: 1447
Location: Germany
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| Posted: 29-Jul-2006 17:19 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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Can you say: "Deutsche Bürokratie"??!!
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Reality is where the Pizza-man comes from!'Gucken, petzen, verpissen!' (Look at it, squeal it, get the hell away from it!) – Motto of the recon troops'Artillery doesn´t know friend or foe! They only know worthwhile targets!‘ – Kuritan Infantrist
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Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
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| Posted: 30-Jul-2006 09:19 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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Ja, natürlich dass ich kann es sagen.
(dun dun DUN)
Deutsche Bürokratie
(Ta-daa)
Again, there is a possibility that this is not entirely correct and this probability is not so slim.
If you ecounter any gramar problems in the text above, please leave your comments in 30-B standard form and make three copies for SD grammar archive, Eurodeutschgramatikamt Berlin and one for yourself...
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The dragon NEVER sleeps!
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Rudel Gurken
Allisters Light Thunder
Major
Joined: 15-Jun-2005 00:00
Posts: 1447
Location: Germany
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| Posted: 31-Jul-2006 09:48 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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Maybe you´ll get that standard form: in about 3 years! (If my burocracy works fast!!)
_________________
Reality is where the Pizza-man comes from!'Gucken, petzen, verpissen!' (Look at it, squeal it, get the hell away from it!) – Motto of the recon troops'Artillery doesn´t know friend or foe! They only know worthwhile targets!‘ – Kuritan Infantrist
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Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
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| Posted: 01-Aug-2006 02:43 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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THREE YEARS!?!
I was expecting standard seven!
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Rudel Gurken
Allisters Light Thunder
Major
Joined: 15-Jun-2005 00:00
Posts: 1447
Location: Germany
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| Posted: 01-Aug-2006 09:38 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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Right!
Seven is standard!
Three, if it works fast!
If it works slow: Better wait for our sun to go NOVA!
_________________
Reality is where the Pizza-man comes from!'Gucken, petzen, verpissen!' (Look at it, squeal it, get the hell away from it!) – Motto of the recon troops'Artillery doesn´t know friend or foe! They only know worthwhile targets!‘ – Kuritan Infantrist
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Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
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| Posted: 02-Aug-2006 03:40 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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According to scientist expectations our Sun will never do so... not that I would expect that the other slow process will end sooner
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 02-Aug-2006 15:53 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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Not true, in approx 5 billion years, our sun will go nova.
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
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| Posted: 03-Aug-2006 12:45 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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I read (long ago, don't ask me where) that the Sun is too small for that. It will just expand to the size of red giant (swallowing Earth, and maybe even Mars) and than shrink to the form of white dwarf. Not that I'm an expert in this field of science... 
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 11-Aug-2006 14:24 Post subject: RE: New Element Discovered!!! [JOKE] |
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When the ster goes Nova, It will expand, then suddenly contract. Usually into a dwarf star... White or Brown...
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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