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DAKKA!
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master arminas
Clan Goliath Scorpion
Star Colonel
Star Colonel


Joined: 07-Mar-2007 16:14
Posts: 718
Location: United States
PostPosted: 23-Jun-2012 15:28    Post subject: DAKKA! Reply to topic Reply with quote

"Hi, there. I'm Willy Bayes, and today I have an offer for you that is simply irresistable. Many of you have flooded the offices of my former employer (Vandenberg Mechanized Industries) asking where I have been these past three years. Well, folks! Rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated! I decided to take a tour of the Clan front and see for myself just what new things that VMI could bring to you, the customer, to satisfy all of your home defense needs."

"Well, it just so happens that I got myself captured by the Clans; one Clan in particular: the Diamond Sharks. Now, now, now; don't you fret none there. They are human just like you and me, and the Diamond Sharks are here to provide you with everything you ever wanted or desired in planetary defense! Why, I advanced in their Merchant Caste and today, I am here to bring you the very first of the Diamond Shark products we are offering to sale across the Inner Sphere and Periphery!"

"That's right, folks, you heard it from Willy Bayes first. Did you dream of ever owning your own genuine Clan BattleMech? A real monster of a machine that can get rid of those pesky bandit varmints? But, those dreams were quashed by the greedy Successor Lords who scooped up all that juicy salvage for themselves. NOT ANYMORE, my friends. Today, I'm here to show you a first-time exclusive special: the DAKKA!"

"You heard me right; the Dakka is 100-tons of death and destruction which you too can own for the small price of just 23,880,000 C-Bills! Whoa there, Billy, you say! That is a lot of green; why would I want to invest my hard-earned money in one 'Mech for that price? Well, let me tell ya, my friends."

"At 100-tons, the Dakka is the top-of-the-line, and she moves as fast as an Atlas. Yessire bob, the Sharks know a good thing when they have it, and if it was good enough for Aaron DeChevelier and Nicholas Kerensky, it is good enough for YOU. We used a standard internal structure to keep the price from going even higher--because we don't want you to waste your money on expensive frills you don't need. But this puppy has sixteen tons of advanced Clan ferro-fibrous armor protection! Sure, it doesn't SOUND like a lot, but buddy-boy, that is more armor than any other 'Mech out there, bar none. Now, for the engine, it's got that Clantech suped-up super-charged extra-light 300-rate, that lets you patrol your community at speeds of up to 54 kilometers per hour! You can't find a better engine than this--not on the open market, at least."

"But we all know that speed and armor are just two legs of the triangle. The third has always been FIREPOWER. And this is something the Dakka has in spades. The right arm carries a Clan-tech Gauss Rifle, with 24 shots onboard. I don't have to tell you about how efficient and effective the Gauss Rifle is. Why even little Victor S/D used a Gauss Rifle before he wrecked his father's Victor. The left arm carries a new weapon: what the Sharks call a Hyper-Assault Gauss, or HAG for short. This is a Class 20 HAG, and it packs the same punch as an AC-20, but it has longer range than a Gauss Rifle! You heard me! Whoa, Nellie! This weapon is a game-changer. And instead of just a few bullets or slugs, the HAG fires a stream of shells that pounds your opponent like a 20-tube LRM system--and can double as a flak weapon! And we've got enough bullets for 24 bursts, just like that Gauss on the other arm. Now, both arms have had their lower arm and hand actuators removed, so you can flip 'em around to shoot at targets behind you!"

"If this was all, I'd tell you its a bargin for the price, but folks, we ain't using IS tech here . . . no sir. This is ClanTech and we just got start. The right torso carries a massive LB-20X autocannon, for when you just want targets to say goodnight, Gracie. This gun is lighter than a traditional AC-20, has a third greater range, generates less heat, and carries fifteen bursts of fire! And it can fire Cluster ammunition as well as Slugs! Whoo-hoo! But WAIT! The LEFT torso carries an Ultra AC-10! Yep, an ULTRA AC-10; man that thing spits out bullets like there is NO tomorrow. It is the ClanTech version too, so it has the range of a standard PPC, and three tons of ammunition means you ain't gonna be running out anytime soon."

"We aren't done, though. No sir. The Dakka also carries an APG in the head. What's an APG? Friends, this is an Anti-Personnel Gauss Rifle, the Clan version of a machine-gun. But it is a machine-gun that does 50% greater damage and has three times the RANGE! I'd buy that for a dollar, I tell you that! Forty bursts comes standard and infantry ain't gonna be bothering you no more, no more, no more, I say."

"But Billy, with all them there guns, don't this thing overheat something powerful? Friends, that is the magic of ClanTech. The Dakka carries just ten heat sinks in the engine, but those are ten freezers. And firing every gun on the 'Mech, you can run and not even generate ONE DEGREE of excess overheat. NOT ONE! Heck, she's so cool running, you can take an Inferno missile head on, run, shoot every gun she's got and sill remain below the green line on your temp gauge."

"All that, and today she can be yours. This is a first-day exclusive sale . . . and we've only got one hundred in stock. So first one hundred orders get filled and everyone else can go home to cry to Momma. I'll give you that HPG extension in just a moment. But as an added bonus feature, today only we are throwing in a full of ammunition of every gun on the 'Mech! You heard me! A full load of ammunition for every gun she's got! Wait, what's that? I must be crazy my friends, because the Diamond Shark Khan himself has come out and said that we are going to DOUBLE, that's right DOUBLE your ammunition load. That is twenty-eight tons of ammunition, absolutely free of charge!"

"Wow. Now, they know how to make a sale. But there's still more! If you in the next forty minutes, because we can't do this all day, not only will you get the Dakka. Not only will get twenty-eight tons of free ammunition. You will also receive a genuine Clan Tech to go with your new 'Mech and keep it running and fully up to code. That's right, you receive a Clan Tech trained in maintaining and repairing your Dakka for six months at NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE. You pay room and board, and he works for you. After six months, standard lease rates apply."

"What a steal. So, are you ready for that HPG extension code? Well call us, in the next forty minutes, at Tukayyid 33-476-88-2311133-SHARK. You will glad that you did. I'm Willy Bayes. I'm a Shark, and we've got the Dakka you need."

Code:
Dakka

Mass: 100 tons
Tech Base: Clan
Chassis Config: Biped
Rules Level: Tournament Legal
Era: Clan Invasion
Tech Rating/Era Availability: F/X-X-E
Production Year: 3075
Cost: 23,880,000 C-Bills
Battle Value: 2,763

Chassis: Unknown Standard
Power Plant: Unknown 300 Fusion XL Engine
Walking Speed: 32.4 km/h
Maximum Speed: 54.0 km/h
Jump Jets: None
    Jump Capacity: 0 meters
Armor: Unknown Ferro-Fibrous
Armament:
    1  Gauss Rifle
    1  HAG-20
    1  LB 20-X AC
    1  Ultra AC/10
    1  AP Gauss Rifle
Manufacturer: Unknown
    Primary Factory: Unknown
Communications System: Unknown
Targeting and Tracking System: Unknown

================================================================================
Equipment           Type                         Rating                   Mass 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internal Structure: Standard                     152 points               10.00
Engine:             XL Fusion Engine             300                       9.50
    Walking MP: 3
    Running MP: 5
    Jumping MP: 0
Heat Sinks:         Double Heat Sink             10(20)                    0.00
Gyro:               Standard                                               3.00
Cockpit:            Standard                                               3.00
    Actuators:      L: SH+UA    R: SH+UA
Armor:              Ferro-Fibrous                AV - 307                 16.00
    Armor Locations: 1 CT, 1 LT, 1 RA, 2 LL, 2 RL
    CASE Locations: HD, LT, RT, LA, RA                                     0.00

                                                      Internal       Armor     
                                                      Structure      Factor     
                                                Head     3            9         
                                        Center Torso     31           50       
                                 Center Torso (rear)                  12       
                                           L/R Torso     21           32       
                                    L/R Torso (rear)                  10       
                                             L/R Arm     17           34       
                                             L/R Leg     21           42       

================================================================================
Equipment                                 Location    Heat    Critical    Mass 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gauss Rifle                                  RA        1         6        12.00
HAG-20                                       LA        4         6        10.00
LB 20-X AC                                   RT        6         9        12.00
Ultra AC/10                                  LT        3         4        10.00
AP Gauss Rifle                               HD        1         1         0.50
@Gauss Rifle (24)                            RA        -         3         3.00
@HAG-20 (24)                                 LA        -         4         4.00
@LB 20-X (Cluster) (5)                       RT        -         1         1.00
@Ultra AC/10 (30)                            LT        -         3         3.00
@LB 20-X (Slug) (10)                         LT        -         2         2.00
@AP Gauss Rifle (40)                         CT        -         1         1.00
                                            Free Critical Slots: 0

BattleForce Statistics
MV      S (+0)  M (+2)  L (+4)  E (+6)   Wt.   Ov   Armor:     10    Points: 28
3          6       6       5       0      4     0   Structure:  5
Special Abilities: CASE, SRCH, ES, SEAL, SOA, FLK 3/2/1

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Vagabond
Mercenary
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Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
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PostPosted: 27-Jun-2012 20:54    Post subject: DAKKA! Reply to topic Reply with quote

mordel.net/barandgrill.php?redirect=viewtopic&t=4862&highlight=

great minds?
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master arminas
Clan Goliath Scorpion
Star Colonel
Star Colonel


Joined: 07-Mar-2007 16:14
Posts: 718
Location: United States
PostPosted: 28-Jun-2012 17:38    Post subject: DAKKA! Reply to topic Reply with quote

Heh. Mine has more guns. Wink

MA
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Vagabond
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PostPosted: 29-Jun-2012 01:05    Post subject: DAKKA! Reply to topic Reply with quote

ha ha, mine is an IS design.
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Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Tai-i


Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
PostPosted: 14-Jul-2012 05:50    Post subject: DAKKA! Reply to topic Reply with quote

Fer that kind of money I can have three AWS-9Qs or half company of Shrecks, which will kick yer sorry Mech's metal booty, patrol thice as much ground and still have enough money to drink myself blind by the most expensive vintage wine Orloff can offer sir. You're barking at the wrong tree. Offer this to crack attack units, but never to garrison forces. They have men to spare, but their budgets are tigh. No need for them to throw all the eggs in one basket. *spits*
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